In my life this week...
I quit church again. Sad, but true. We thought the one we had been attending since last September was going to be the one (especially since it's full of homeschoolers), but it turned out to be like all the others ... people were really nice at first, then no one would speak to us as usual. By "us" I mean my tween and myself. My spouse and kindergartner never have this problem. I realized I absolutely cannot allow the two of us to continue to feel such hurt to the point it causes us to turn our backs on God for good. Yes, it's that bad. I have literally seen kids from the youth refuse to shake my son's hand or turn their backs on him. Not one of them would speak to him on the Legoland field trip last week. There have been many times in his Sunday School and in youth when the kids have needed to partner up for a project and no one would be his partner. It's hurtful. It's heartbreaking. It's ridiculous for "Christians" to act this way. It's just as bad for me. Every church we go to is this way. This kind of nonsense has no place in God's house. I started thinking I might be overly sensitive, but a dear friend in another state (a beautiful, wonderful, amazing woman of God I've known since childhood) is going through the exact same thing ... so much so that all you have to do is change names and locations and our stories are identical. Identical! My decision didn't come lightly. I stumbled upon an online article that really got the wheels in my head turning. My spouse felt deeply moved by the article as well. I do want to eventually write about it all here on the blog, but don't know when I'll have the time to do so. (For those curious about the article, it's HERE. If you are unable to read all six points because you get a message you have to be a subscriber, try the link again another day. That has been working for me. It's the very last line of #6 that I found very powerful.)
In our homeschool this week...
I quit church again. Sad, but true. We thought the one we had been attending since last September was going to be the one (especially since it's full of homeschoolers), but it turned out to be like all the others ... people were really nice at first, then no one would speak to us as usual. By "us" I mean my tween and myself. My spouse and kindergartner never have this problem. I realized I absolutely cannot allow the two of us to continue to feel such hurt to the point it causes us to turn our backs on God for good. Yes, it's that bad. I have literally seen kids from the youth refuse to shake my son's hand or turn their backs on him. Not one of them would speak to him on the Legoland field trip last week. There have been many times in his Sunday School and in youth when the kids have needed to partner up for a project and no one would be his partner. It's hurtful. It's heartbreaking. It's ridiculous for "Christians" to act this way. It's just as bad for me. Every church we go to is this way. This kind of nonsense has no place in God's house. I started thinking I might be overly sensitive, but a dear friend in another state (a beautiful, wonderful, amazing woman of God I've known since childhood) is going through the exact same thing ... so much so that all you have to do is change names and locations and our stories are identical. Identical! My decision didn't come lightly. I stumbled upon an online article that really got the wheels in my head turning. My spouse felt deeply moved by the article as well. I do want to eventually write about it all here on the blog, but don't know when I'll have the time to do so. (For those curious about the article, it's HERE. If you are unable to read all six points because you get a message you have to be a subscriber, try the link again another day. That has been working for me. It's the very last line of #6 that I found very powerful.)
In our homeschool this week...
My kindergartner made this adorable snowy owls craft. My tween has started his Native American studies ... our history topic for the remainder of the homeschool year.
Helpful homeschooling tips or advice to share...
There are lots of great FREE worksheets available at tlsbooks.com
I am inspired by...
My friend Cristina. Reading her No School Today?: A Home Spun Comic Strip Collection was exactly what I recently needed to remind me we're doing just fine.
My friend Cristina. Reading her No School Today?: A Home Spun Comic Strip Collection was exactly what I recently needed to remind me we're doing just fine.
Places we're going and people we're seeing...
Taekwon-do lessons plus my kids joined the demo team so they had a practice session for that and a very cool archaeology talk by a guy from the Florida Public Archaeology Network.
My favorite thing this week was...
Watching my tween at the demo team session. I think a bit of reorganization is going on with the team, so the instructor is determining who is going to be doing what. My tween made the cut as a "flyer" meaning he will be jumping over team members while doing specific kicks to break boards. Once he realized this, the look on his face was priceless.
Watching my tween at the demo team session. I think a bit of reorganization is going on with the team, so the instructor is determining who is going to be doing what. My tween made the cut as a "flyer" meaning he will be jumping over team members while doing specific kicks to break boards. Once he realized this, the look on his face was priceless.
What's working/not working for us...
I had a list of themes I intended to cover with my kindergartner this homeschool year, but I've let that go and am very much going with his interest-led learning at this point. It's working very well for us.
Questions/thoughts I have...
This is for anyone who's into scrapbooking and the like ... Is there a swiveling craft blade/knife that is compatible with the Coluzzle templates? That entire line was discontinued, but I still use mine for a variety of projects and don't have any more replacement blades.
Questions/thoughts I have...
This is for anyone who's into scrapbooking and the like ... Is there a swiveling craft blade/knife that is compatible with the Coluzzle templates? That entire line was discontinued, but I still use mine for a variety of projects and don't have any more replacement blades.
Things I'm working on...
I've been doing a general declutter as I've had time. My paper recycling bin has been filling up fast!
I'm reading...
The book of Genesis (Amplified version) and Paper Angels by Billy Coffey.
The book of Genesis (Amplified version) and Paper Angels by Billy Coffey.
I'm cooking...
Brown rice in veggie broth, squash patties, roasted asparagus, and roast potatoes
I'm grateful for...
A delightful conversation I had with one of the other taekwon-do moms earlier this week. She is a native of the Phillipines, so she was excited to learn I cook with coconut oil and use it for other things. She told me all the homemade things she uses for skin and hair care plus how she makes coconut milk (a bit different from the method I use, so that was great knowledge to acquire).
A photo, video, link, or quote to share...
A delightful conversation I had with one of the other taekwon-do moms earlier this week. She is a native of the Phillipines, so she was excited to learn I cook with coconut oil and use it for other things. She told me all the homemade things she uses for skin and hair care plus how she makes coconut milk (a bit different from the method I use, so that was great knowledge to acquire).
A photo, video, link, or quote to share...
Mama's boy...
7 comments:
My daughter and I have had this happen in "our" church as well. Our experience was so bad that we actually walked in on a group of adult women, who all belong to the clique, talking about my daughter. My daughter is quiet, shy until you get to know her, artistic, has her own sense of style and self. These adult women were talking about her because she wasn't always the smiling, happy teenager wearing pastels all the time. It made me so angry that they were judging my daughter. Then, the conversation shifted to what type of parent I must be to allow my daughter to be like that. I was so angry that they were judging her for just being true to herself but most of all, I was hurt that no one reached out to us to see if there may have been anything going on in our lives where we needed help.
I am a single-mom and that was another "no-no" in our church. They were very judgmental about that and no one asked for the circumstances, where I could tell them my side of the story (like the fact that I refused to stay married to a man who was abusive to both me and my daughter who was an infant at the time but that he also did not honor his marriage vows). Instead, both my daughter and I were looked down on and excluded because I was divorced.
Christians have done horrible things in the name of Christianity so their behavior wasn't all that surprising. Hurtful, yes but surprising? No.
We have learned to find God in the everyday little things and experiences that we have. We listen to Christian music whenever we want and dance and sing and thank God everyday in our own way for the wonderful life he has given us.
Oh. My. Gosh. That dog is adorable. :-) I hope you're able to find a church that's a good fit for you. It's heart-wrenching to read about how you and your son have been treated. It's a shame that so many people think being a "Christian" involves filling a pew, and they forget they are under orders to love their neighbors as themselves.
Sorry people have been unkind. Church is one place you expect to be accepted. I also have been on the outside. Stay true to yourself.
I'm humbled to be a source of inspiration. You inspire me too!!!
I'm so sorry you have had such trouble finding a church where you feel like you belong. I hope you keep trying and eventually find the right fit for your family. I feel sad about the narrow mindedness of some people. Try not to let them get to you. I copied this reflection for you from our tae kwon do center, I thought it was a great message:
"If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyways."
And I want to add, don't forget to laugh. Life is too short to be taken too seriously. Remember to always look for joy.
Peace and Laughter,
Cristina
It isn't church that makes you love God...You don't need one to follow Him! It's wondering to be with others that do of course, but not necessary. You'll find someplace!
I'm so sorry that the church didn't work for you. I too do not understand how some feel welcoming and others turn hostile. I am naturally introverted so it takes me a bit to warm up to people and I dearly hope that others don't feel I'm stand-offish! Many times, I'm searching desperately for something to say :) Please know that you are certainly not alone and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. BTW, love the interest led learning - I'm doing a bit of that myself lately. Almost finished reading "The Unschooling Handbook" ;)
I don't get it with churches these days. I'm sure not all are like that, but it's so frustrating!! I can say that ours isn't perfect either, but I've decided to ignore the few "holier than thous" that go to ours.
I'm off to read the article (again). I think I read it on fb?
Hang in there, my friend! I'm glad you've learned you're not the only one.
Blessings!
Deborah
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